A little piece of the Pudge

Four years ago my life changed.  It seems a little selfish to write that statement, because the way my life was changed was hardly significant in the scheme of how two families lives were altered.  In our lives, events happen that make us ask questions, form relationships with people, help us grow, or see things from a different perspective.  Four years ago, I got a phone call to let me know that one of my students, a Junior at the time, died in a car accident from drunk driving.  The driver of the car, a student who graduated a year earlier, was killed as well...I just didn't know him quite as well as the other student. 

Evan (Pudge), was an amazing person.  I think of him and his family so often.  I only knew him for a short time while teaching in Louisiana, as well as his mom who was a teacher at the same school.  I feel like throughout our moves as a military family, we've always been placed in the perfect communities at the perfect times.  The school I taught at in Louisiana was one where it truly felt like family, and that was mostly because the local community was so small that the students went there from PreK-12th grade and the teachers were community members, parents of students, and God loving people.  The way I saw God work in the lives of these families was nothing short of miraculous.  When I found myself angry at God and questioning my beliefs in Him, and what my faith was I felt selfish, because I lost a student, and here I was watching a friend who had just lost their child and she was still praising God and worshiping Him, and talking about how she'd see her son again in Heaven.  The faith she showed has stuck with me and is frequently something I think about.

I don't know that Pudge cared that much for me as his English teacher...mostly because of all the work I assigned, that he didn't see the point in doing, but I hope he knew how highly I thought of him and how smart, intelligent, and funny I thought he was.  He definitely provided comic relief in the classroom, but also could drive you nuts.  He liked to question and challenge authority when he felt things were unjust.  He liked to debate and read about current events, and have real life discussions.  I wish I had the chance to talk more with him about "real life" and a little less about Huckleberry Finn.  I know that Pudge would have changed the world.

I saved some of his writing assignments, and I just wish he was still here.  His autobiography was just amazing-because he recognized his potential, which so many young people don't.  He had strong self-worth, and character.  Once he even offered to let me to be part of his one-man wolfpack if I overlooked some missing assignments.  When I look back at the Friday before the accident, so many things stick out, that now seem like they were all leading up to this big "thing."  Our student/teacher book club read this book Thirteen Reasons Why and we discussed it at lunch that day.  The story brought on this huge discussion about what you would say and how you would feel if you knew it was the last time/day that you were going to see someone.  I knew that my students were all attending a party that Friday night, and I remember telling my Juniors there wasn't any homework and that they should have a fun and safe time over the weekend.  That day, Pudge had talked to me in class about raising his grade and working out a "plan" to help him out.  Of course at the end of class he admitted to not having his homework for that day.  After school I had stayed a little later than normal on a Friday afternoon, and I caught him talking with his mom in the hallway.  I stopped to join their conversation, and then put my arm around his shoulder and started talking to him about that "plan" to increase his grades.  It was so random, yet was like that moment that wouldn't normally have happened.

The next morning I got the phone call that him and the other student, Trent, were killed on impact.  It felt unreal.  This was really the first time in my life that someone, younger than I was, who I knew and had daily interactions with died.  I felt this state of shock, and heartache.  I don't ever pretend that my loss was anywhere near what their families felt, but Pudge's death has had a lasting effect on my life.  I miss him.  I missed seeing him in class and the hallways, seeing him do all the fun things that his friends got to do the rest of their Junior and Senior years of high school, and now seeing what they are all doing as they move into adulthood. 

His mother is one of the most incredible women I know.  She's inspiring.  The way that she has impacted the community since his death, and the message that she sends to students through her loss amazes me, and she's truly an inspiration. 

I know my thoughts are all over, and probably aren't clear (especially since it's 1:30am) but I truly am blessed to know the Urda family and am grateful that I got the chance to be part of Pudge's life, if only for a short while.