Home is Where the Heart Is

If I'm being truthful with myself, and others, this has been a ROUGH move on me.  We talked about the possibility of this job in Guam for so long and went back and forth with leadership in Minot as to whether our changes were looking good or not.  Anyways, that was emotional and draining.  We finally were mostly told it wasn't going to happen and then almost a month later we were told we'd likely have orders in a week.  I was pretty shocked.  Then there's the whole, I'm supportive of the move when it's hypothetical, but now it's really happening.  Looking back now, my feelings towards a move would likely be the same if we were moving a state away vs. half the world away, but it didn't feel like it for a long time. 

Mason has been great with me.  I guess after being my partner for 14 years, he know "how I am."  That doesn't necessarily mean it's easier.  I essentially went from cheerleader and number 1 fan to, digging my heels into the ground crying all the time about why was HE making me move halfway across the world, and why did HE do this to me, and I wasn't going with HIM.  Through these times he did what he does best, and remained mostly quiet.  He would hold my hand, wipe away tears, try to remind me that I don't like change and that they was "how I get".   (I'll throw in here that while most of this is typical Ellen behavior, being in the early weeks of a pregnancy in which I felt exhausted, nauseous, and hormonal didn't exactly help these emotions.)

I was feeling depressed.  I wanted to stay in bed a lot of days.  I wanted to be by myself a lot of days.  I wanted to cry.  I wanted to sleep.  I wanted people to understand why I was feeling this way without having to tell them.  And I felt horrible about it.  My kids wanted a playful mom, my husband wanted a wife who was present or at least would occasionally make dinner.  I felt terrible that Mason was getting this dream job that he wanted for so long, and I was suddenly behaving so horribly towards him, the Air Force, and this relocation.  There were many nights where I clung to him as my lifeline.  Crying as we fell asleep.

Eventually things for the move had to fall into place, and they had to get done.  Some days I don't know how I made it until the end of the day.  I felt horrible having gatherings with friends who's husbands were upset about not getting assignments they wanted, or feeling like their careers weren't going places.  And here we were with the great job that we'd been pushing for for so long. 

In addition to pregnancy hormones, emotions, and side effects, my two boys seemed to have gone bonkers!  This has been a hard move with lots of transitions on them, but that hasn't helped my moods or "feeling like a winner" when I feel like the battle was lost with those two and that they were raising their flags as I was surrendering each day. 

But the thing is, anyone who knows Mason and I, should be able to see the connection between us, and see all the love that is there.  He's always there for me, even if it's not in the way I envision.  And while moving halfway across the world, so far from friends and family was so scary...I'd only want to do it with him.  What's best for all of us is to be together.  If he hadn't gotten this job, he'd be here on deployment and we'd be in Minot alone.  As my boys get older, it does not get easier having Mason gone.  They ask for him all the time when he's gone.  And while I have a really special connection with them as their mom, I'm also just not their dad and I can't completely fill that gap when he'd gone...even when I attempt to build legos or read superhero stories to them.

My heart is with Mason and where he goes, I will go, and that's where home is for us.  I think I cried daily for about two weeks when we got here, and then it was every other day, and then a week, and now things are getting better.  Mason was out of town this week at a work conference and I was pretty nervous about being alone with the boys who have still been CRAZY.  But, Mason comes home tomorrow and we've taken it easy this week and we've survived.  I still get those fluttery feelings when he's about to come home, even after all these years.  Day by day things are getting better for me, and I'm feeling better about being here and finding my place.  I'm grateful he still asks me to come on all these life journeys with him.

Fun in the Sun: Gab Gab Beach

Most Thursdays, Mason has a teleconference around 3 or 4am to accommodate people in various time zones in the Pacific.  So on our anniversary he was up and out of the house early!  He ended up heading home a little after lunchtime, since he'd put in a full days work and we drove down to the Navy base to check out a snorkeling area that Mason recalled from when he was deployed here in 2011.  The Navy base is about 45 minutes South of where we were, so we loaded up and the boys relaxed while we drove to Gab Gab Beach. 

We arrived when it was lower tide and since it was Thursday there were not many people there at all, which is nice because we have friends who went this past weekend that said it was a zoo.  There was a parking area and changing area right near the water so that was nice, and is helpful with the kiddos.  There is a deeper area where you could tell people were jumping in and just having fun.  The water was pretty clear, so there was an area with stairs into the water when one of us would stay with the kids while the other took a turn snorkeling.  The kids enjoyed hanging out by the stairs and the rocks because it gave them a vantage point into the water where they could see lots of fish swimming and even a starfish hanging out. 

The water was pretty clear and since it is near a bay, the water drops off after a point where you can't really see the bottom.  I did not venture out that far.  While I love swimming and am pretty good at it, something about losing sight of the bottom (or the surface for that matter) panics me...so I'll be leaving the scuba lessons for Mason.  There were some beautiful fish.  At this point we didn't have our GoPro from our shipment yet, but it will be fun to have an underwater camera on our next adventure.  Mason was the first to go out and while he was snorkeling the kids and I played in the water and then also walked over to the beach area (which actually disappeared by the time we left at high tide).  The boys have been really enjoying playing in the shallow water with their sand toys. 

When Mason ventured back I took my chance.  The water had some very cold and some very hot pockets which were strange to feel as you swim in them.  One fish even took a nibble at me, and there were tons of sea cucumbers in the water.  I'm really glad we brought so many pairs of water shoes, because they are a must at the beaches and in the water.  Mason walked along the shore with the boys while I was out snorkeling and they checked out the rock formations. 

We decided to take one more dip into the water we first started in.  There were a few more people at this point, and the tide was coming in, which we've heard isn't as ideal of a time to snorkel because the water clouds up, which we discovered to be true.  HOWEVER, Mason spotted a purple squid and a sea turtle on his swim!  He rushed back so I could go see the sea turtle, but I was never able to find it.  The lucky dog, went out one more time and found that sea turtle AGAIN!  I guess I'll take his word for it that he got to see it.  :) 

This is definitely a location that we'd go back to snorkel in, and once we have some babysitters and the kids are more settled I'm looking forward to adventuring with Mason.  It's a little more fun to go with a buddy. 

One More Coconut Dropping this October

Mason and I are really thrilled to be expecting Baby Kehs #3!  We found out in February that I was pregnant, and we waited a really long time for the 10 week ultrasound in Minot.  This appointment happened to be our last week in Minot, and I'm so glad that we got a glimpse at the little one.  When I was pregnant with Theo and Woodrow I had both of my first appointments in Shreveport and had at least two ultrasounds before 12 weeks, and in Minot waiting until 10 weeks along felt like an eternity, especially when you can't feel what's going on inside.  

We were really glad that we were able to see family in person to tell them our exciting news.  We told the boys the day before telling our first set of family members so they wouldn't spill the beans.  When we told them Theo asked when the baby was going to be born, if it was a boy or girl, and if the baby had a name.  Woodrow just kept repeating for a month, "I not Woodrow, I big brother."  Both boys have been very excited to talk about having a baby.  Woodrow says he's having a sister, and Theo thinks it will be another brother, although today when we were putting away the baby clothes he kept saying "she".  

10 Week Baby Kehs #3

I was hoping for an ultrasound at my first appointment in Guam, but instead it was a paperwork meeting.  The second appointment, they listened to the heartbeat (everything was great) but no glimpse inside.  My next appointment will be the first week in June and will be the big anatomy scan at 20 weeks.  And we won't be finding out the gender this time around either.  It's hard to believe I'll be 18 weeks pregnant this week!  I can't wait to see baby again, although I am starting to feel those little movements.  

I'm grateful for the second trimester to be here, because I was not the most pleasant during the first trimester.  I was nauseous, food sounded gross/smelled gross and and didn't do much cooking at all.  Mason was a super trooper especially since I was exhausted all the time.  Naptime was my best friend and it was exhausting to be moving and planning the move during all this, plus not telling anyone, so I'm sure I just seemed unreasonably whiny.  I'm feeling much better and I'm hoping it lasts, although I could go for more naps. :) 

Fun in the Sun: Marbo Cave and Tarague Beach

We've been in Guam a few days short of a month which feels crazy to me, but we've been trying to get out and about on the weekends to explore.  We're not in a huge rush to see everything, and surprisingly enough that while Guam is a small island it does take time to get places.  We live in the Northern most part of Guam at Andersen AFB.  One of our first weekend adventures took us to Marbo Cave which is in Mangilao, about a 30 minute drive.  There was a great website (360Guam) that gave us detailed information about this location and we decided it would be a good adventure to take the kids on. 

I agree with the website that you would not want to attempt this drive on a rainy day since the roads closer in were not that great, and there isn't lighting along the road.  It was definitely thick jungle along the sides of the road, and I see why people carry machetes in their cars here.  It was disappointing to see how much trash was left in the small parking area.  When Mason was deployed here a few years ago, his squadron was always doing beach cleanups  and I can see why now.  There is a lot of trash (including glass bottles, etc...) left behind in many public places, which is sad.  I speculate because you have to pay for trash pick-up on most of the island.

The walk from the car to the cave was about 5-10 minutes.  Not long at all.  There was a rocky decline that Woodrow decided was "too harder" to climb down, so I carried him although he did okay on the way back up.  We've got to develop our hiking legs again out here.  Plus everywhere is so hot. There was a path past the cave to go to a cliff with an ocean view, but we decided to skip that this time since we weren't really sure how far it was.  When we got to the cave there weren't many people there as a group was leaving, but there was a group of 4 people smoking or vaping down in the cave area and it was so gross.  The whole area was cloudy and we got the point...the guy could blow smoke rings.

Anyways, the cave has a freshwater pool so Mason hopped in with the boys first and then tried out his new snorkel.  There wasn't much to see in the water, but it was so refreshing to take a dip in cool water after sweating on the walk and being in the cave area.  It seemed like there were more smaller caves you could access or climb to, but we just stuck to the main smaller pool.  For most of our visit it was just us and the kids which was pretty nice.  The boys love the water, but you've got to stay within arms reach, because they love to jump right in, or off rocks, and scare the life out of you.  The kids favorite part was swinging on a small rope that was hung in the cave, somehow I didn't manage to get a picture of any of them on it. 

It was a really fun first adventure in Guam, and I'm glad we went.  On our way back we decided to head to Tarague Beach which is a beach on Andersen AFB.  I foresee we'll spend quite a bit of time here since it's just a 10/15 minute drive from our house and close on base. We'd been here before, but Mason tried out his snorkel set again and was able to see some cool fish and the boys were able to play with their sand toys, which they love to do.      

Adventures in Moving: All the other "stuff"

Mason's drive to Seattle

I hope this post isn't too much of a repeat of my post on our Household Goods, but I wanted to make sure to document dates and such for fellow military families, but also as a reminder for when we move again about how long things took.

HHGs:  The majority of our belongings got packed up March 3rd, and were loaded onto the truck to head to Guam on March 4th.  We were fortunate that they were able to pack and load in two days instead of the estimated 3 days, because that meant we didn't have to sit with stacks of boxes in our house over the weekend, which was much better for all of us, and less trouble temptations for the kids.  Our HHG shipment arrived on the island on May 3rd, but they are still being inspected by customs, so we don't have them yet.  HOPEFULLY this week we will get that lovely shipment, and begin to put everything in it's place.  We sort of have an idea of where we want things, but I suspect another purge is going to happen.  (It really is hot here, and I don't think I need all the long pants I snuck in for myself and the boys).
*Our stuff arrived May 17th

"Talking to Aunt Jill"

Storage:  We put some of our stuff in storage which is paid for by the Air Force.  It stays locally in Minot and when we come back to the states they will ship those things to us.  Most of our winter gear, our patio set, one of our couches, some awards, etc...stayed in that shipment of stuff.  That was picked up on March 21st and went straight to the facility.  We had done really well organizing our things, so all of these items (expect for the large couch and another table) were in the garage, so they were out of the way for our HHG shipment, and then easily set apart when they came to pack up. 

Cars:  The next adventure was shipping our cars.  The military will pay for one car to be shipped overseas.  We spent time evaluating whether we should ship one car and buy a "Guam Bomb", or nicer used car once we got here, but the idea of either of those stressed me out a bit.  I didn't want to have an unreliable car here, and we learned most Guam Bombs are not that cheap...and I didn't want to be hassled with trying to sell a car right before moving and have to work out, what if it didn't sell?  What if it sold early?  Anyways, we decided since both of our cars have been paid off for awhile that we'd pay the cost to ship our second car.  We're very glad we decided to do that.  So, we priced out having one of the shipping companies come and pick our car up from Minot, but in the end, it was cheaper for Mason to drive the Highlander from Minot to Seattle (airfare, hotels, food, and shipping).  So, Mason left on March 12th to Seattle.  He got there the evening of the 14th and spent time getting an oil change and cleaning the car.  He dropped it off at the Matson shipping center on the morning of the 15th and flew home that day. 

Cleaning the walls

The Highlander arrived on Guam on April 6th.  It's pretty nice that they have a tracking system so we can see where the car is located.  Mason's Minot squadron is deployed to Guam right now, so before those guys left Minot, Mason had a notary approve a letter saying that two of our friends could pick up our car for us, and it's a good thing we had done that.  We assumed we had the same amount of time to pick up our car as we would from the military shipping place which is about 21 days.  Of course the offices here are only open M-F 8-5pm and that's tough for working Air Force guys to get to.  But, we got a call one night saying that we'd be charged $150/day after 1 week if we didn't get the car.  Our friends were AWESOME and were able to pick up our car, but that required them to get a temporary registration, inspection, and lots of other hoops, so we REALLY appreciated them.  It was a HUGE relief to arrive at the airport in Guam and have our car waiting for us.  (Our friends used it for the few weeks were weren't here and then dropped it off for us).

Slumber party while Dad paints the kid bedrooms

Our Camry was dropped off after we left Minot.  We brought it to the Vehicle Processing Center in St. Louis on April 4th.  They then transported the car to California and put it on the boat.  The tracker has been inaccurate and we've had a harder time with the shipment of this car, because stateside it was dropped in Guam on April 21st, and the Guam center says it isn't due to arrive on the island until May 14th and then it takes about a week to process...so, we're fairly sure it's still on the ocean, but we'll be really grateful when we have two cars again! 

Unaccompanied Baggage:  The UAB shipment is a shipment of up to 1000 lbs that is shipped by air to Guam.  There are rules about the size of items that can go in this shipment, and was basically what we kept in our house the last month we lived in Minot and what we needed once we first arrived in Guam, but weren't carrying on the plane.  This shipment was picked up in Minot on March 28th and was delivered to Guam on April 26th (the day after we got our house).  I am glad I packed what we did in this shipment.   Although I should have brought a few more beach towels.  This shipment had two camping chairs, tv, roomba, computer, toys and books, microwave, a few pots and pans, some knives and silverware, some of Mason's uniforms, and bedding.  I'm glad I brought a decent amount of toys for the boys, because otherwise they'd be going bonkers. 

Laundrymat

Overall the timeline for everything has been pretty accurate to what they told us, but it will be nice when we have it all and our house can feel really like home.  A couch and our bed will be heavenly!