Pandemics are Hard

Today feels a bit hard.  We've been taking this pandemic situation day-by-day.  And I've been okay.  Actually handling it better than I would have thought, and have remained pretty optimistic, which isn't always my go-to response.

This week was the scheduled Spring Break for my boys.  I had hikes planned for the nice days, and school/hangout days planned for the rainy days.  We made our hikes outdoors Monday and Tuesday.  Yesterday didn't end up being as rainy as originally foretasted, so we took a long walk around the neighborhood, and the kids had outside play time.  They also did some school work and were great.  Max was a little challenging at times, but it worked better once we took ourselves to the basement where he could feel more comfortable playing.

Up until today Mason has been working.  Today they are starting a different schedule and he'll be on rotating shifts, but he's home for the rest of the week.  He's bummed his routine of working out at the gym daily and work is off course (though he's gotten in his workouts at home the past two days, since the base gym is officially closed).  It's hard to make anything feel "normal" right now.  The kids are squirrely today with the rain.   There's going to be a lot of togetherness.  I really like our family time, but there's also the reality that many escapes we take for granted aren't available right now. 

Yesterdays reality check was that I believe the kids won't go back to school this year.  Which means they're all home until August, with many of our favorite outing spots closed likely through at least May.  While we do get out hiking or walking, changes are coming down everyday in that regard.

Today's reality check was that the weekdays and weekends now all blur together.  There isn't a differentiator when Mason's not working and all our normal activities are shut down.  No gymnastics, sports, swimming, scouts, school functions, book club, or bunco.

Since Mason was home this morning I ran to the grocery store alone.  This is my second time in the past week and each time the shelves are more and more empty, with no restocks in sight.  It's hard to not panic buy.  When I was at the store there were many elderly people shopping.  I stopped to help a gentleman find horseradish.  Another woman was wearing a mask and didn't want to open the freezer doors.  I wanted to give all of them my phone number and tell them to call me if they needed anything, an offer I've already made to my PWOC ladies.

There were also people solo shopping.  It was eerily quiet.  People stuck to their lists.  Small smiles here and there.    I listened to an audiobook.  It was calming.  I saw young airmen in uniform looking at shelves like they were not used to cooking or feeding themselves.  Their carts full of foods likely to rip a hole in their stomachs.  I wanted to invite them all over for a homecooked meal.  But. These times are different now.

The streets are quieter.  And as I shopped around the more and more I got in my own head with this entire situation.  We had nice moments, I know the weather wasn't helping.  We're going to need to have grace, faith, and a plan so that Mason and I each get some kid-free time during the day and continue self-care.