Funny Kid Stuff

They think I should feed them:
One of my students decided that I should bring her a ham and egg croissant from McDonalds. She told me this Friday, and I told her she'd have to text to remind me (not that I was really considering doing it). So Monday I show up, having completely forgotten about it, and she says, "Ms. Kehs, where's my croissant?" I said, R, you didn't text. Needless to say it's Thursday and I've had 3 texts this week in the morning telling me to stop and get her a croissant...each with a funny little twist. Tuesday she was shocked that at 7am I was already almost at school, Wednesday I wasn't driving and she still texted too late. This morning she texted at 6:10 which is when I told her I leave the house but I didn't plan ahead to make a stop before picking up Robert for carpool...maybe tomorrow R, maybe tomorrow.

After completing a grammar lesson about how a lot is two words and no alot:
A student turned in a paper where they used alot. I commented on how not 10 minutes prior had we gone over this, and that he should be applying what I'm teaching him in his writing. His response, "well, when I text it automatically spaces the words for me."

On naming my child:
I have a new picture of Theo as my background that shows up on my SmartBoard each day and one student and I had the following conversation:
"What's your son's name? That is a son, right?"
"Yes. My son's name is Theo."
"What's his whole name?"
"Theodore Lawrence."
"Does he have a last name?"
"Yes. Kehs, like me."
"Oh." "Well, all you need now is two more kids and you can have all of the chipmunks..."

First day of Freshman English:
A student walks in and looks at the seating chart on the board, "oh maaaaan, this class is already hard."

After Reading the short story The Lady or the Tiger, which has a cliffhanger ending:

What! I want to kill that narrator. I hate this story. It’s so dumb. Why would the narrator do that to us?! Ugh, I’m frustrated. Is this a joke?