I get the message- Thanks!

It’s 6:00pm on Monday night, Mason’s just left for his weekly Civil Air Patrol meeting, Theo has just been fed a bottle and is playing on the floor with toys; and I begin to debate…go get frozen yogurt with Theo, or stay home and get over the craving by beginning to cook dinner…I decide to behave and prepare dinner. Sheppard’s pie. A new recipe. A dish I haven’t made before. I pretend I’m Gordon Ramsey making the perfect Sheppard’s pie as I start to peel and slice the potatoes. I check on Theo; spit-up on the rug…great (why won’t this child burp anymore?). I get out the Resolve and scrub the spot of carpet and then move Theo to his play mat. He rolls over and giggles. Back to thawing the veggies. Corn, peas, carrots-yum. Potatoes are starting to smell good. Peek in on Theo; spit up on his mat and has wiped his arm and face in it. Wash Theo’s face, and mat. Decide to move Theo to the kitchen counter in his bumbo chair…I put away some bottles, start the dish washer, Theo spits up onto the counter. Okay…I’m getting the message, he didn’t like whatever I ate and was in his 6:00 bottle. I decide to put Theo in his lounge chair on the floor, thinking he’ll be sitting at an angle, nothing pressing on his stomach. He’s happy and cooing, while hugging his Elmo toy. Success. I get back to cooking dinner. Wow- I’m just like Gordon Ramsey except I don’t have one of those fancy tubes to dispense my mashed potatoes…oh well. Now I’m channeling Taylor Swift because I’m listening to the country station. Theo’s happy- what an awesome kid! Okay, how should I time this, Mason gets home at 9:00pm, I need to pump at 7:45, Theo eats at 8:00…I guess when the potatoes are almost done I’ll begin cooking the meat and assemble my Sheppard’s pie and pop it in the over while I pump. Hmm, Theo is wiggling a lot, he probably is sick of the chair, let me go talk to him. Ohh, I know that smell…alrighty, time to change the diaper. Diaper failed. Shit! Literally shit all over the chair, now all over my hand, Theo’s hand, Theo’s legs- DO NOT PUT THAT HAND IN YOUR MOUTH!!! Ugh. Paper towels, stat. Laundry starting, stat. Should I throw my child in with the laundry (I would NEVER do that)? BIG sigh. Okay, I really get the message Theo, you did not like what I ate. Get laundry into washing machine, child mostly undressed and headed directly to bathtub. Bathe child- thoroughly! Well, crap, now dinner is delayed, I need to pump, Theo has had his bath early (please stay extra clean during cereal time so we don’t need bath part 2). Theo is in new outfit. Ellen is clean and in new shirt. Head downstairs to check on the potatoes and think about starting meat- what, have to pump. GO upstairs to pump. Theo spits-up. Damn. Theo is in a new outfit. Ellen is in a new shirt. Ellen sits down to pump while Theo plays on his boppy- he fell asleep! I no longer feel like Gordon- or in the mood for my Sheppard’s Pie. I no longer feel like Taylor Swift- or in the mood for singing. What I do feel like…going out and grabbing that frozen yogurt the minute Mason walks in the door. Guess that makes me-Mom.