Getting a Little Perspective

Last week I was really, really grouchy!  Theo and I had several rough days in a row, and to be perfectly honest, he wasn't even doing anything "wrong."  It was me and my bad attitude.  I woke up several mornings just already in tears, and by lunchtime was a complete mess.  I felt like a terrible mom to Theo for being so grouchy, and yelling at him which would just make him cry.  I felt like a terrible wife for venting a lot to Mason, who's not here and can't really help the situation. 

So, by Sunday afternoon, I really just sat, prayed, and tried to think about things, and how I could make them better.  The key was pretty much that I needed to change, because Theo wasn't going to.  A large part of the "problem" was that Theo decided to start waking up at 7:00am.  I know for a lot of you reading this, you're thinking, I wish my kid would sleep until 7am!  I know that we've been very lucky with Theo's sleep schedule (usually 9pm-9am or sometimes later), so this 2 hour shift was tough for us.  It made for a loooong morning before nap (1pm) and then even his naps were fluctuating between an hour and two hours (where it was a pretty constant 3 hours before).  I'm a night person, so going to bed at 1 or 2am and then being awoken by a little guy bursting into my room at 7am was not making me a happy mommy.

This new sleep pattern seemed to coincide with me taking away Theo's pacifiers, so I thought maybe he was hearing revillre which is played at 7am, and he'd wake looking for the pacifiers and not be able to find them, so he'd decide to wake-up instead.  Also, since we returned home from vacation, he's learned how to climb in and out of his bed, which means, he doesn't really stay in his bed to play.  He was getting up and coming to find me.  After a few mornings of him waking up early and him getting out of his bed, I was sleeping really poorly because I was convinced he'd escape while I was sleeping and I wouldn't hear him.  Anyways...I figured that as much as I tried to tell Theo it was still night time and he needed to stay asleep or stay in his bed, he was going to be waking up early.  I needed to start going to bed earlier so that if 7am was the new wake-up time, I'd be getting a decent night of sleep.  The past two nights, I've been asleep/in bed between 11am and midnight, and Theo's slept in until 8:30ish.  Thank God!  His naps have also gotten longer again, so we'll see if this lasts...at least until I have some back up!

I was also down in the dumps because I miss Mason.  He's been gone two months, and Theo and I both miss him.  Theo asks for him all the time, and it's draining to constantly explain where Daddy is.  Fortunately we have a week left until Mason returns!  It's a faint light at the end of the tunnel.  So looking forward to having him home!  But again, I have a friend who has two little ones and her husband is gone for a year to a much more dangerous place than Montgomery, AL.

Things have gotten a lot better this week!  I feel like a functioning person because I've been getting some sleep.  I've been trying to take Theo to the park at least once a day when it's cooler temperatures in the morning, and then we play in our backyard in the afternoons.  He usually plays trains everyday while I try to do somethings around the house or on the computer, and then we'll read books, color, or do some "project."  By doing more with him, I've felt like a little bit of a better mom, it helps the days go by, and we aren't just being sitting and watching Sesame Street and Thomas & Friends.

I've been trying hard to put life in perspective.  I'm happily married, I have a healthy kid, and a growing baby.  I have several friends right now with severely sick children, and know families who have lost their teenagers, so I'm trying to gain perspective and realize my life is pretty amazing!